Although a lot of acronym-based lifestyle tips seem kind of gimmicky or one dimensional, the PERMA model is surprisingly representative of the complexity that is well-being. The most important thing I learned from PERMA is that life isn’t just about happiness. If it was, then why wouldn’t I be shooting up heroin instead of writing this? PERMA made me realize all of the aspects of my life that I took for granted and gave me a lens to reflect on the activities that I participate in and why they contribute to my wellbeing. I think the three most important aspects of PERMA for me are the PER part.
Firstly, I’m definitely an adrenaline junkie, so I don’t know if I can be as excited about life if I’m not actively skiing off a cliff or wakeboarding or something like it. I’m always pushing the limits of what makes me stoked, for instance, I spent last summer getting pretty good on my dad’s next toy: the hydrofoil. There’s nothing like perfectly gliding 3 feet above the water across a flat lake at sunset. Secondly, experiencing flow is central to a lot of my favorite hobbies. I could never put a word to describe why I liked them before, but I guess they all have this shared therapeutic flow property. For example, skiing, solving Rubik’s cubes, playing music, and dancing are all ways of letting my ego shut up for a second and just existing in my body. These kinds of things are essential for the human experience in my opinion. And lastly, relationships are really, really important to me. Being around people who appreciate me and who value my sense of humor is essential for my wellbeing. I am already feeling pretty sad and lonely and it’s only been maybe four days since I was with my friends in my dorm room. My relationship with my mom has been very formative of who I am today, and she’s the exact kind of parent I want to become when I have my own children. She taught me through example to not take myself so seriously, to always laugh, and to love one another.
I was surprised by this class because of how broad and philosophical it was. Going in, I was expecting a psychological look at pure stoke and positive emotion, but I was pleasantly surprised by the introduction of gratitude and flow and regret and spirituality. My favorite aspect of the class was the “act on a future regret” challenge. Throughout high school, I would always look back on my past “things” with girls and regret that I just let it die out, but I just kept letting it happen and happen again. By rewording it as “look at what I can control–the present–and live it in a way that I won’t regret in the future,” it made me realize what I was doing wrong. I wasn’t the things I had done that I was regretting, it was the lack of action that I regretted. So I decided to make a move on this girl I really liked, and one thing led to another and now she’s my girlfriend. It’s such a simple thought, but it had never occurred to me before: “live a life I won’t regret”. I also really liked the class on religion and spirituality because it was actually quite profound. A lot of kids said it was kind of boring and not interesting, but I felt it was the most profound class of the quarter. I had already read about and thought about most of the things that came up in the other classes, but the class on spirituality was answering things I still struggle to comprehend today. I loved it! I don’t really have any complaints about the class besides some of the readings being unreasonably long.
I want to thank the whole teaching team for making this quarter amazing. Psych of Stoked was an awesome excuse to think about the things that truly matter in life, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also really appreciate the unbiased approach that you all took to leading the class which made us come to our own conclusions about life instead of just being spoonfed certain subjective views. I hope you all continue to teach this class as long as it brings you happiness.